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14 year old daughter buying thongs
At what age should a child be able to dress herself?To Socks or not to socks?My daughter hates all pants other than her sweats?Building self-esteem while encouraging a tidy, acceptable appearanceWhat expenses should I pay for my 16-year-old daughterIt's winter. How to dress up my 2-year-old daughter for daycare?How can I motivate a 13-year-old girl to take better care of her appearance?My daughter wants to express herself, but her school has uniforms?How do I resolve this bikini problem between wife and daughter?13 year old daughter refusing to wear a real bra
Hi I found out that my daughter has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
clothes
New contributor
add a comment |
Hi I found out that my daughter has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
clothes
New contributor
add a comment |
Hi I found out that my daughter has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
clothes
New contributor
Hi I found out that my daughter has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
clothes
clothes
New contributor
New contributor
New contributor
asked 4 hours ago
AnnaAnna
61
61
New contributor
New contributor
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2 Answers
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Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
New contributor
add a comment |
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2 Answers
2
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2 Answers
2
active
oldest
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active
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active
oldest
votes
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
add a comment |
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
add a comment |
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
answered 3 hours ago
user35316user35316
3462
3462
add a comment |
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
New contributor
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
New contributor
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
New contributor
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
New contributor
edited 2 hours ago
New contributor
answered 3 hours ago
EmmaEmma
1014
1014
New contributor
New contributor
add a comment |
add a comment |
Anna is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Anna is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Anna is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Anna is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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